Watching

I watch the girl,
The one whose thoughts are my own,
As she watches the skies
In their never ending dance.
The stars, the sun, the moon, the rain,
All reflected in her vacant, hidden eyes,
As she watches the sun begin behind
The horizon she will never visit.

The sky turns red, like the drops that
Run down her arms at night when she is alone
In the dark, the blackening cuts hidden by
The shirtsleeves and sweatshirt she always wears.
And as I watch her I can sense her fear,
The one that still plagues her, even now
As she stands, face upturned,
Watching as the blood-red sky fades to black,
Like the scabbed old blood on her upper arms.

The fear to be left alone, to be forgotten,
To only be the girl who stands alone,
And no one else.
And as the rain begins to fall
She begins to cry, knowing that no one
Will hear her, knowing that no one will see.
Her eyes turn earthward again, catching sight of me.
“C’mon, ‘Nessai.” She tells me,
Using that old nickname,
“C’mon, ‘Nessai. Let’s run.”

And with that she’s off,
Sprinting away.
I know what she’s running from,
Trying to escape what she can’t.
When I finally catch up to her
She’s at the pond, sitting on the dock,
Head buried in her arms as the rain
Pours down around us, hissing on the water.
I see her shoulders shaking, hear the quiet sobs.
The poor girl, she’s all alone,
To proud to let any,
But me and the rain and the wind,
To see her cry, to comfort her.
She’s lost everything, with nothing left to die for.
The wind whispers around us, not even moving
The sodden hair hiding her face and shoulders
From anyone who might care.

She breaking down, falling apart,
Nevermore known by humans,
Only by the rain, the wind, and me.
She’s dying too slowly,
Healing too fast,
But the wounds still show
Through the scars on her arms
And the haunted look
In her rain flooded eyes
Late at night
As she stares with longing
At the star-studded skies.